Dating Dilemma: When Standards Meet Scarcity
A rant about how dating can feel even harder when standards feel high and too exclusive. Should standards be "lowered" to broaden the scope, or should they be adhered to vehemently considering happiness and honesty are factors to consider when dating?
Sometimes, I wonder if my high standards for a potential partner are an issue. Maybe I should think about broadening my criteria, at least when it comes to looks. I say this because, honestly, when I’m at a singles event or just out and about, about 70% of the time, I don’t find anyone attractive. And the other 30%? If I do find someone who catches my eye, it’s usually only one or two people in the whole crowd (mind you, this is just my wild guess, not based on any official stats).
I’m not looking for some “Hollywood Handsome” type—Hollywood has its own weird, creepy standards, and I want none of that. But I can admit I’m into “Celebrity Cuties” and those with similar afflictions (beauty is pain, right?). I also realize my tastes can be kind of niche.
I just noticed there is a black mark on my elbow. How did that get there?
I mean, I can find plenty of guys objectively handsome, but it doesn’t always mean I’m attracted to them. Take Chris Hemsworth, for example. He was “Sexiest Man Alive” in 2014. And I get it—he’s undeniably sexy. But here’s the thing (and maybe you guessed this already): I’m not attracted to him. If he magically appeared on a silver platter just for me—which he shouldn’t, of course, since he’s married—I’d probably decline without a second thought. He’s just not my type.
So, if even conventionally “beautiful” people don’t always do it for me, then how am I supposed to find a potential partner? I know it’s possible, but the search can be so tiring and honestly, a bit draining at times, which seems to be a common theme in all of my posts about dating thus far.
Loving the spiral ruffle fringe, and how it reaches the floor
When combing the dating desert, if I can find someone attractive to my tastes, then they have passed the first level of criteria on my list. The second level is based on their personality which will either make them uglier in my eyes or even more charming. I think assessing a person this way is reasonable enough, we are superficial beings to a certain extent anyway. I just wish the dating gods would allow me more potential matches to enter into my sphere of existence.
A small, auxiliary wish when compared to other factors of our current social landscape, but a wish I will still make because I think this can be a small moment allowed for selfishness. For now, I think I will keep to my standards, but they will be flexible according to the context of the other person.
Anyway, to wrap up my mini-rant, let me tell you about my outfit for this post. I actually wore it on Halloween before going to Dark Harbor at the Queen Mary with friends. I layered a long, black dress with a spiral ruffle fringe that was so long, that I had to pair it with black, calf-high boots that gave me about 5 or 6 extra inches. Even then, the fringe still brushed the ground in this romantic, moody way. For my bottoms, I wore black pleated pants underneath and topped it off with a simple, chunky silver chain necklace. My outerwear was a warm knit sweater that had a rich dark brown color, and its length reached down to my knees.