Chapter 23
Previous Episode: Zalli finally met with the shadow she kept seeing within her mirrors only to feel confusion and frustration from talking with it. Now: She continues the conversation with the intent to free herself from her physical and mental restraints.
Zalli’s shadow self widened its eyes to large saucers. Its red orbs then rolled to the side. The thing walked in the same direction as where it looked. It held its hands behind its back as if in deep thought, and it circled around the small coffee table with a small hop in its step before it spoke with a tone of mocking ardor.
“A once prominent cultural heritage that brought a town together two centuries ago no longer has any value within this time. They only want to focus on the new and evolving technology.” Its hands came up wide in a taunting gesture. “No one wants to honor their history anymore. They all look to the future, not a boring rock.”
“Just because others stop appreciating it, that does not mean I should, too. I agree that the townspeople have turned their eyes away from the kyanite stone to other things, but that is out of my control,” Zalli said. She brought a hand up and placed her palm on her chest. “I can only continue to protect it myself. Because I want to.”
She fixated her gaze on her doppelgänger. In her fervor, she brought her body forward, which caused her to notice her arms did not get pulled back to the couch. Zalli looked at one arm and noticed how the bind looked transparent.
It still held her down, but it also gave her some room to move. The discovery brought her to a realization. Any disagreement must lead to being confined. So, when she agrees, she receives her freedom. As the thing said, she must truly accept the words that it says.
The shadow self spoke again. It was still walking in circles, but now it was looking down.
“You should give up on everything in your life. Fuck the man senseless, let him use you for his desire, and give him the kyanite. Then you can let go of all the standards you hold for yourself.” Its hands returned to clasping its fingers behind its back. Every so often, it would lock one of its knees, as if it were kicking a nonexistent rock. “Isn’t it so tiring, trying to be perfect all the time? You try to do everything right—help others—and for what? What do you get in return?”
Zalli sighed and fell back onto the cushion behind her. She accepted she had to agree to the shadow before her. Yet, it was difficult for her to do it with a wholehearted intention. There must be something else she needed to do.
The warm feeling in her gut seemed to say she had to not only acknowledge the thoughts as a part of her, but she also needed to decide how to go about her feelings and judgements within these situations. That the reason they existed was to help her process her emotions, her fears, and her weaknesses.
It is what will lead her to her liberation from the confinement only she placed herself in; from what she created with her own denial and suppression of these things.
Zalli bit the side of her lip as she took a steeling breath. With soft eyes resting on her copy, she spoke.
“I am trying my best and that is the all that I can do as an individual person. I cannot control others, nor do I want to. Even though giving up is easy, and maybe acceptable in certain situations, I will not do that.” The shadow restraints vanished. Zalli could tell once the odd sensation of emptiness the shadows gave disappeared. She stood up and rubbed her wrists to affirm her sense of touch still worked. “Being perfect is tiring. So, maybe I should stop ...”
Zalli’s thought process paused. She waited for the right words to appear, but nothing seemed to pop up to the forefront of her mind. The young woman knew it would come to her—she just needed patience for that moment.
While Zalli was mulling it over, she noticed her shadow self’s calves had become darker in shade; its lower limbs were transforming into its accurate shadow representation.
She then caught her own legs were going through their own transition, replicating her copy’s progress. The difference was that a yellow glow surrounded her limbs. It was a similar pale color that Ezi’s eyes had.
Huh, Zalli’s interjection was more of a curious wonderment than confusion at the change occurring. She raised her eyebrows, then peered into red eyes, finally ready to say the rest of her thought.
“Being able to please everyone is an impossible task. I just—need to do what I can based on my better judgement. If I can support the majority, then I can accept the hatred of the minority. Because—” Zalli paused again as she observed how the transition for both of them continued to grow up to their hips. It spurred her to pursue further in speaking. “I am enough for my community. If I acknowledge all the progress I have achieved so far, that statement holds true.”
As she finished her speech, the warm yellow glow around her body engulfed her entire form, and complete darkness shrouded her shadow self—a true shadow. The only thing that remained the same in its physique was the features that always creeped Zalli out the most; red glowing eyes and a bright smile with pointy teeth reflected to the young woman the thing’s true nature.
The shadow self moved in silence towards Zalli.
“You’ve kept these thoughts inside you for too long. If you don’t talk to me, these things will build up and escape you negatively,” it said with a soft hum. “You will cope with bad habits and allow negative attributions to take over.”
No longer surrounded by a yellow orb, Zalli ran her fingers through her hair. Her blue highlights cascaded down to frame her face. A crack escaped from her voice, laced with concern.
“You said so much to me. I don’t think I can even remember the rest of everything.”
Her copy brought its hands up and pushed Zalli’s hair back. Its fingers combed through with a gentleness that settled at her nape. Before it uttered its sentence, its palms settled on the angle of her jaw.
“That can be dealt with later. Your mind and heart have already taken enough for today.” Palms squished in Zalli’s cheeks and swirled the flesh around, providing the young woman with some discomfort. “If we did any more work, you might just implode from the overload.”
The shadow self’s voice squeaked when it spoke about implosion. Zalli released a dry chuckle. She drew her head away from the shadowed hands and created some distance with a step back.
“So, I can reach out to you whenever? To work out the rest of the stuff?”
Zalli drawled her words. She glanced away from her doppelgänger, but returned her eyes to it when it responded.
“I will always be with you. I will always be what you say you are and what you decide to hide—what you are not ready to accept in order to process and grow.” It closed the distance between the two by latching onto Zalli’s hand at a sudden pace. “A shadow only exists because there is light. Do not allow your light to disappear, Zalli, because without it, you will be truly lost.”
Slightly cryptic, but not all of it is confusing.
Zalli considered her reasoning with a frown.
The shadow self pulled the young woman to the other side of the living room, where a giant mirror had emerged. Once the pair arrived in front of the ornate glass framed with golden leaves, Zalli resolved with a new aspiration for herself.
In the past, she did a lot to ignore almost everything that made her feel strong emotions; she would focus more on work or on others. Now, Zalli committed to confronting her feelings, even if it meant risking vulnerability.
“It’s time for you to go back.”
Her shadow self declared with an assured regard. It snatched Zalli’s shoulders and rotated the woman to stand directly between it and the mirror.
She turned her head to glimpse at her reflection over her shoulder, only to see two figures within a room. Green Tepi was pacing around while Yoltzin still lay unconscious, with his hands bound to the ring above. His head hung to the side at an awkward angle.
Zalli whipped her head back to face the shadow as her final thought appeared like a flash from a firework.
“Wait! Would you know what my third power is?”
She blurted out her question in a panic. Yet, with a calm expression, the copy only smiled.
“Don’t get lost.”
Shadowed hands pushed Zalli through the mirror. With an exclaimed oh shit, she experienced a coolness surround her form again. With quick thinking, the young woman imagined Tepi’s bedroom with her eyes closed. She observed in her mind Green Tepi biting the nail of her thumb and a sleeping bound man. It was an exact copy of the picture she saw in the mirror's reflection.
Zalli did not stop walking backwards until the cold that pricked her skin disappeared. Before she could properly open her eyes, a hug surrounded her shoulders in a tight embrace.
“Zalli! You’re back!”
Tepi pulled back to grab Zalli by the shoulders. The green fairy still carried tension on her forehead, but her shoulders were relaxed.
“How long have I been gone for?”
Zalli clutched onto Tepi’s hands when she asked her question. She wrinkled her brow and flitted her eyes between her friend and the still masculine form on the floor.
“Quite a while, I would say, for about thirty minutes.”
“Seriously? It seemed way faster when ...” Zalli trailed off in her thought. Since she wanted to stay on task, she shook her head with a meticulous impulse. “And he is still knocked out?”
She jutted her chin toward Yoltzin.
“Yeah. He would move every so often and mumble something under his breath, but he hasn’t woken up. Honestly, he creeped me out for a bit.” The fairy shuddered as she sensed a tingling sensation run down her spine. “How did it go? Were you able to get your power back?”
“It was such a headache, but I did it.”
Zalli moved away from her friend. She crouched with her heels touching the floor and her forearms resting on her knees as she observed Yoltzin. His chest expanded with each soft breath he took. There was an obvious strain within his shoulders, yet his face was not even scrunched up in pain. The young woman detected a need to grab a stick and poke the fae in his side.
“We better get moving, before he wakes up.”
Green Tepi spoke while she crouched next to Zalli and used her elbow to bump into the human with a gentle shove. She wanted to grab Zalli’s attention and make sure it was focused on important matters.
“Yes, we need to go.” Zalli stood up by pressing her hands on her knees for support. “So, we can use the mirror to return to the first level. But—we all need to do it, right?”
“Right. I don’t think you want to risk leaving him in your subconscious.”
The young woman frowned. She placed her concentration on trying to figure out how to bring Yoltzin along. The obvious choice was to work together in carrying him, but that sounded like a lot of work.
“Hey, I think I know what my third power is. Can you let me know if I’m correct or not?”
Zalli spoke with her hands on her hips.
“Yeah, I can try. More of my memory had been seeping in while you were gone.”
Zalli closed her eyes and took in a long breath. She wanted to make sure she was listening to her intuition with precise awareness based on her own memories she had gathered.
“I can create energy force fields. And from what I could tell, the walls were pretty unbreakable.”
Green Tepi said nothing as she placed her index finger and thumb over her mouth in thought. Then, her face lit up with wide eyes and a soft smile.
“Yes! That’s the power Ezi gave you!”
She jumped once in glee, then turned to face Zalli to see what her thought process was brewing.
“Do you know if I could move it around—with like items in it?”
The green fairy’s open mouth from smiling closed shut like a lid of a wooden container. She brought her hand back to her chin, this time to rub it.
“I am ... not too sure. I don’t think I’ve seen you do it before.”
Zalli rubbed the back of her neck. With a solidifying breath, she dropped her arm and closed both hands into fists. She nodded her head and said nothing more to the fairy.
She drew her brows in to each other and imagined a transparent wall that shimmered when one brought their eyes close to its form. The image flashed in and out of her mind’s sight. Zalli forced a breath out and grunted.
Since nothing appeared around Yoltzin, she tried again; this time she closed her eyes to bring out a vivid image within her concentration. With some seconds passing by, she opened her eyes and gave a victorious smile.
Yoltzin and his shackles were surrounded by an energy wall. Zalli could sense the subtle vibrations it would emit.
She then looked at the chain ring holding her prisoner up. An unsettling feeling appeared within her stomach—there was a chance Yoltzin could be faking his unconscious state and then make an attempt to flee once she took the ring away. Considering how she was still unsure about the power level her barricade had, images of another fight happenning flew across her mind.
Yet, Zalli had to take a risk. So, she imagined the ring gone. In an instant, Yoltzin’s arms dropped with a hefty plop. He was still slumped in his sitting position, but he made no other movement.
Zalli quirked her head as she brought her arms out in front of her with her hands splayed upwards. Her form was awkward since it looked like she had her arms open to receive a hug.
A dry cough came from her friend as they waited for something to happen. Zalli shifted her weight on her feet from side to side when nothing did.
She stretched her arms out further; an act of desperation from not seeing a change in results. Before she knew it, Yoltzin’s body drew forward at a slow pace. Zalli felt her heartbeat move faster in her chest. Once the fae was between herself and Green Tepi, she turned to her friend, and asked her a question.
“Help me bring the mirror down? I think it would be easier for us to walk through that way.”
“Got it.”
They worked together to lift the intricate mirror down. The pair was able to place it in a position where they could rest the upper end against the dresser. The mirror’s height reached up to their chins, so they would have to crouch their head once they were ready to enter.
Green Tepi then spoke with lowered brows.
“Zalli, when we entered into each dream level, there was some form of physical contact made. From what I saw, he always brought his forehead down to yours, but I was able to enter just by touching your arm, after drinking the potion of course.” She stopped talking in hesitation, but then continued with a soothing voice. “We will need to leave at least by holding each other’s hands—just in case.”
“Potion?”
Zalli drew her eyebrows upwards, but Green Tepi dismissed her reaction with her hands waving down in front.
“Yes, I can explain that later. Let’s just go.”
Zalli wavered. Then, with a nod of her head, she grabbed the fairy’s hand and turned to face the sleeping Yoltzin.
She observed the energy field she created, then pushed her fingers through. She held her concentration to only focus on allowing her passage while maintaining the integrity of the wall. In her success, she felt a warm heat surround her arm, like a spring sun was inside her barrier.
As she got a good hold of the bed sheets bounding Yoltzin’s wrists together, the young woman looked up to discover Huizi sat at the door’s entrance. The Xolo thumped its tail on the tile floors in a solemn cadence. She whined and brought its forelegs up in alternating multiple taps.
Zalli sensed her heart clench, but Green Tepi called out to her.
“Zalli, come on! Let’s go.”
The young woman opened her mouth and whispered out to her pet.
“Bye, Huizi.” She turned her head toward where she figured the barn was and whispered her final goodbye. “Goodbye, Churro.”
As she felt her eyes water, Zalli pulled Yoltzin’s arm with an aggressive force. She dragged his form to swivel around and placed his front away from the pair. She then turned away and walked through the mirror with her friend leading the way.
Zalli experienced the cooling sensation again, but this time it felt icier. Rather than the cold prickling her skin, it seemed like microscopic icicles were stabbing though her epidermis multiple times.
The young woman shut her eyes in reaction as a bright light shone around the group. Once Zalli could no longer hear Huizi’s soft thumps, she knew they had left the second level of her dream world.
Michelle Alva